Tales of a Clumsy Girl

#6 Faster We Fall

“You know, maybe, walking slowly may help,” he said.

“I tried but even when I try, I can only walk this fast,” Mansi said a continued her scuttle.

“If you walk slowly, you can balance yourself if you are falling. Also, you can lift your feet a bit higher. Lower chances of falling,” he said.

“I maybe clumsy but I don’t fall that often,” she turned and wagged her finger at him.

“Okay. I believe you,” he said and a smirk occurred on his face.

“Wha…” Before she could ask, her feet were tangled in the thick wires lying on the ground. The wires were half-an-inch in diameter and were coiled in large circle over and over again. Her foot got stuck in one open loop and she lost balance.

He held her and brought her back to her feet.

“Don’t say a word,” she said and started walking faster.

Tales of a Clumsy Girl

#5: Murder at first sight

Mansi decided that she would kill him. Not because he threw water on her precious clothes; not because he teased to date her sister; and definitely not because he was cute. She decided that the only way everyone in the office would stop teasing her about him was if he didn’t exist. “I know it’s not the right thing but what choice do I have?” Mansi thought and mixed the juice with a little alcohol.

“It would have been easier if he was a drunkard. But this is the best poison in the world either ways,” said Mansi giggling. She had checked online and it takes a little more than a shot worth of methyl alcohol to kill someone. Mansi knew that he wouldn’t drink that much alcohol in one go – the non-drinker he was – but the night was young and she had time on her hand.

“Here’s your juice,” said Mansi and brought him his favorite orange juice.

“Oh! Wow, Mansi. I never thought you would bring me water, let alone juice,” he said with a grin.

“I was already taking something for myself so…” Mansi trailed off waiting for him to sip.

“It’s tasting funny. I think it’s gone bad,” he said and kept the juice down.

“Oh no!” said Mansi, truly disappointed. He looked at her face and grinned again, “but you have brought me the drink so I’ll finish this one even if it’s sour.”

In one large swig, he finished off the drink and smacked his lips. “You happy Mansi.”

Mansi nodded. “A couple more of such drinks and my work is done,” she thought, her mind sparkling with happiness.

As the party continued, Mansi found new and creative ways to smuggle in the methyl alcohol in his drinks and food. It was almost three hours since the first glass of juice was taken by him when he coughed.

“I don’t know why, but I feel dizzy. What was in the food man?” He said in a voice that was quickly deteriorating. He grabbed the chair and tried to sit on it but fell beside it. A person shouted for some water while another one held him. Mansi showed concern but was giddy inside.

‘Finally!’ her mind repeated as he started coughing blood.

“Mansi. I don’t know what is happening but I must tell you. I’m sorry if I ever hurt you. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met,” he said waving his hands. His vision had become blurry and he could barely see two feet in front of him.

Mansi held his hand and spoke softly, “I know. I was not offended. It was all fine.”

By the time the ambulance arrived, his body had given up. Mansi knew what the autopsy would say and hoped that there was no murder investigation. Her choice of poison was mundane specifically for this reason.

‘Now, I will finally be rid of all the teasing,’ she thought as his body was taken away.

Tales of a Clumsy Girl

#4: Rotten Parched Lips

Mansi touched her lips and was annoyed.

“Damn these rotten parched lips.” She said and reached for her lip balm. As usual, it was just out of her reach. She stretched her arm and before she could balance her feet on the ground, the wheels of the chairs moved backwards and she was flying towards the ground.

She saved her face by placing her hand on the ground and heard a crunching sound.

“Ouch!” Mansi said and checked her wrist. It had survived but was hurting.

The lip balm was also on the ground, now finally in her reach. She picked it and smeared them on her lips.

“Mansi! Why are you putting lipstick while lying on the ground? Some new style.” A guy said laughing. A few others joined him as Mansi got up. She smiled at others and turned back to her desk.

“Damn these rotten parched lips.”

Tales of a Clumsy Girl

#3: Disease Extrapolation

“I think I have throat cancer,” said Mansi in a somber whisper.

“What?” Her friend asked choking on his innocent sip of water. You don’t have the watercooler talk to discuss matters of life or death. Mansi nodded, her expression fixed and her eyes shifty. Worry was visible on her face and was now mirrored on his.

“How?”

“You know I’ve been coughing for the past week. During my travel, I fell completely off the wagon. Tried the allergy medication because earlier the diagnosis was that – no effect. In fact, I started having the fever as well. For the past 5 days, I have been doing a course of anti-biotics – no effect again. Everything points to one thing now,” said Mansi and gulped down the whole glass of water in one go, as if drowning her miseries in it.

Her friend looked like a deer in front of headlights. He opened his mouth and then closed it.

“Are the doctors completely sure? You should take a second opinion,” is all he could come up with.

“I haven’t yet gone to the doctor.”

“Huh!”

“Yeah. I didn’t have the time and I was too tired.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “You have been self-diagnosing yourself.”

Mansi nodded, still a serious expression on her face.

“Go see a doctor. It will probably be viral or something.”

“But it isn’t going away.”

“It will in a few days.” He said annoyed.

“You don’t think it’s throat cancer?”

“If you want it to be throat cancer, start using more tobacco.”

Mansi stuck her tongue out at him. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“Don’t self-diagnose and go see a doctor.”

“It could be dengue as well – I’m having fever. Plus, dengue is in the air these days.”

“It’s not dengue. You don’t have that high a fever. Plus, with dengue, you would have been in bed by now.”

“Hmm… Good to know that. Then, it probably is typhoid. I’ve had typhoid before you know – twice.”

He had a strong urge to face-palm himself but resisted.

“Ok. It might be typhoid. Just get it checked by a doctor before taking any medicine.”

“Yeah. I will get myself checked for Typhoid.” Mansi said giddily.

——–

Tales of a Clumsy Girl

#2: Pen or Sword

Mansi picked up a pen and used it like a sword. Not defying governments or changing the world order by writing the next masterpiece. She literally picked the pen and stabbed him with it. Her intention was clear. His leg should be the canvas for her.

“Are you done?” He drawled and continued watching the movie. Then pen had failed her. She looked at the pen incredulously. She turned to her own hand and saw that the pen was working perfectly. Invigorated, she attacked him again and the pen ditched her again.

“What the hell?” She said and looked at the pen tip.

“It’s my pen. It will show some reverence to me.” He said laughing.

Mansi looked at him with pure fury and then without any control she also started laughing. She took the pen and started writing on a pad. When she was convinced that the pen would work no matter what, she turned to his leg – which had not changed it’s position.

The first mark went blank. However, Mansi was patient this time. Instead of a sword, the pen turned into a needle. Slowly but with gaining confidence, she spilled the ink little by little on his leg. By the time he turned to look, it had turned into an artwork – grotesque – but an art nonetheless.

“What the hell?” He said looking at the random crisscross of lines on his leg.

“I win.” Mansi said triumphantly.

“You know it’s just a pen stain and will wash out in the first bath.” He said with a quizzical look on his face.

Mansi looked at him and stuck her tongue out, “I win,” and threw the pen at him.